Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Free Mixing in Islam

What is Considered Free Mixing?

Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)

Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.

Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.

Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.

Why is it Like This?

Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.

Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.

Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt.

Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.

Prevention of families being broken up.

The Evidence

Allah says: "And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse" (Qur'an 17:32)

Allah says:

"Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision [looking only at what is lawful and averting their eyes from what is unlawful] and guard their private parts [from being seen and from unlawful acts]. That is purer for them." (Qur'an 24:30)

And He says: 

"And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision [looking only at what is lawful and averting their eyes from what is unlawful] and guard their private parts... (Qur'an 24:31)

Allah also says:

"And when you ask [the Prophet's wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition [or screen]. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts. (Qur'an 33:53)

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them." (Saheeh Muslim)

Narrated 'Uqba bin 'Amir: The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said, "Beware of entering upon the ladies." A man from The Ansar said, "O Allah's Messenger! What about Al-Hamu, the in-laws of the wife (The brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet replied: "The in-laws of the wife are death itself". (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) also said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman." (Narrated by Al-Tabarani in Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir (20/213), Ibn Abi Shaybah in Al-Musannaf (4/341) and the narrators were declared trustworthy by Al-Haytami and Al-Mundhiri)

Allah says:

"If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet [or be moved with desire], but speak with appropriate speech. [Qur'an 33:32]

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." (Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi)

Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

It was related in Al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) did not circumambulate the Ka'bah along with the men. 'A'ishah used to go around the Ka'bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka'bah. 'A'ishah refused to do so. (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

One of 'A'ishah's handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Kaabah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". 'A'ishah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allahu Akbar" as you passed by". (Musnad al-Shafi'i)

Punishment For Zina (Fornication or Adultery)

In This Life

Fornication is 100 Lashes

"The [unmarried] women or [unmarried] man found guilty of illicit sexual intercourse* - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes**, and do not be taken by pity for them in the religion [i.e. law] of Allah***, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of the believers witness their punishment." (Qur'an 24:2)

*Either by voluntary confession of the offender or the testimony of 4 male witnesses to having actually seen the act take place. Otherwise there can be no conviction.

**The ruling in this verse is applicable to unmarried fornicators. Execution by stoning is confirmed in the sunnah for convicted married adulterers.

*** Meaning: Do not let sympathy for a guilty person move you to alter anything ordained by Allah, for in His law is protection of society as a whole.

Adultery is Death

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim]

In The Hereafter

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not speak to nor look at nor purify three types of people: an old man who commits Zina, a lying king and a vainglorious poor person...." (Reported by Muslim with similar wording)

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like and oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and saw naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below". I asked: 'Who are these, O Gabriel?' He replied, 'Males and females who have committed fornication.'" (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck. If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: 'I did what was forbidden.' Allah Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: 'What did I do?' His tongue will witness against him saying, 'I said what was forbidden'; his hands will speak and say, 'We reached for what was forbidden'; each of his feet will say. 'I went to a forbidden place.'; and his private parts will say, 'I did it.' An one of the guardian angels will say, 'I heard it.' and the other guardian angel will say, 'I wrote it,' and Allah Most High will say, 'I knew it but I concealed it.' Then He will say 'My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!'"

Note from Safyiah: I could not find the source of this last hadith. It's well spread on the internet but no sign of its source. Don't take it as a saheeh (correct or authentic) hadith until you know it is really so. If anyone knows its source please tell me, inshaAllah. I could find a confirmation from the Qur'an though: "On a Day when their tongues, their hands and their feet will bear witness against them as to what they used to do." (Qur'an 24:24)

Source: Islamswomen.com

Adapted by: Safyiah Simões



the hijab gal said...

Jazakallahu khairan sister.I want you to please advice we muslims that go to mixed schools on how to deal with this.

Unknown said...

salamo aleikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

when it comes to free mixing, the woman must avoid it just as the man must avoid it. if you have to go the school/university or work, it's better that you find a university only for females or a work only for females. if you can't do that, then there's no problem if you go to a mixed school/university to gain knowledge as long as you keep the islamic guidelines (but it's better that you find a school/university for girls only though, there are many out there).

About the work: if the woman wants to work by her free will, without having any financial difficulty and her husband provides for her needs, she can work. but in this case, she shouldn't work if the work involves mixing with men or dealing directly with them all the time. if it is a necessity, such as if the woman is a widow or divorced, she should try her best to find a job which involves only females. if she can't, she can work in a mixed environment as long as she keeps the islamic guidelines in dealing with non-mahram.

Conclusion: you should try your best to meet the islamic requirements and try to avoid places that are mixed, but if you are unable to do it, you can still go to mixed places but try to avoid having contact with non-mahram men. but when i say "try" it's to try really, it's not just saying "ok, I'll try" and then you enter the university or workplace that you find first without searching for places which are suitable for a Muslim woman.

hope I could clarify inshaAllah


Patricia said...

I agree that men and women not mix and if you are caught alone then guard against any indencies.

However, the Quran is clear about the punishment for adultry. It is not death. If you can find in the Quran a punishment for adultry is death then please let me know the sura.

I am fairly certain that to confide them to their homes and 100 whippings without pity is the punishment.

We really have to be careful. For it is the Bible that states stone them. Not Quran.

Patricia said...

Let me add I fight against illegal sexual activities with my families constantly. I am american. The only muslim in my family besides me and my children.


However, we have to be truthful about Quran. Quran does not say death is penality for adultery.

Unknown said...

@ Patricia

As-Salamo Aleikom Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu sis

We didn't mention that the punishment for adultery being death in case of married people is in the Qur'an. Rather, it's found in the saheeh sunnah as we quoted above:

The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: "It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim]

Both the Qur'an and Saheeh Sunnah are used as rules in shari'ah. The Prophet (salAllahu 'alayhi wa salam) was the best interpretor of the Qur'an, alhamdulilah, and we should follow what he said about it, inshaAllah.

Although I know that some rules are being misused nowadays or misinterpreted by the ignorant, this doesn't constitute a valid reason to let a rule go.

jazaki Allah Khair sis, for stopping by.

Ramadan Mubarak

5 pillars of islam said...

she shouldn't work if the work involves mixing with men or dealing directly with them all the time. if it is a necessity, such as if the woman is a widow or divorced, she should try her best to find a job which involves only females.

Unknown said...

The basis of being a believing muslim is to believe and decale your faith in ONE God and The last and final messanger SAW. That means the Quran and Hadith/Sunnah... So you can not be a muslim without faith in the Quran and Hadith and following it. So those who deny the Hadith we have been warned about such people nearer the time of judgment day.
The Quran and Sunnah are one package... you can not accept quran and reject Hadith. To be muslim we have to accept both whole heartedly and practice it. The prophet SAW was a living example of Quran and practical guide for us. Therefore, showing us the correct way to deal with situations and life.
The Quran does not mention Ablution in detail... does that mean we ignore wudu and Ghusul? No the Prophet SAW told us about this from the Night journey... we do not reject it.

Siyaka Luqman said...

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. As regards the hadith above i'm also trying to get the source but i came across it in Kitaabul Kabaair of Shaykh Muhammad bin Uthman Adh-Dhahabi under the chapter "The tenth major sin". I hope this helps.
Plus, if this is a sisters only site then forgive me for free mixing.*

maryam ibrahim said...

Enter your comment...Assalamu alaykum sisters. there's a particular program held here in Nigeria. after schooling in the universities, and this scheme involved free mixing . I personally view nysc for muslimahs as debauchery bcos our dressing is compromised, as well as our principles. if anyone could pls, help me compare and review the Islamic stands on nysc for muslimahs. jazakumullahu khairan

Unknown said...

What exactly is free mixing?

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